Growing up I had one of the greatest examples of true, lifelong, friendships with my Mom and her childhood best friend.  They had been friends since they were 10.  I longed for friendship like that.  I remember learning Proverbs 27:17 in Sunday School, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”  As a kid I had a lot of kids I played with but struggled to find a close group of friends that did everything together.  It wasn’t until high school that I had a group of girlfriends, that honestly, were more like sisters.  Looking back, I know, that the closeness we shared in that season of life was because of our bond in Christ.   

Those friends taught me what Christ centered friendship looked like and the importance of Christian community.  Those were the friends that sat in a hospital waiting room praying for my mom, those were the friends I met for Starbucks when any one of us were having a bad day, the friends I prayed with, the ones I sang with, cried with, celebrated with.  Seasons have changed but those friends showed me what it meant to have friendships that sharpen you.

Last year, when it appeared that I had lost my closest friendships, I wanted to leave my church because I was hurting but really more because of the embarrassment and shame of hurting others.  Something in me told me to stick it out.  God created us for community and this was my opportunity to learn how to work through conflict in relationships, God’s way.  I had a tendency to blame others and run from conflict.  I knew I needed to do this differently.

As I started to move forward, I needed to expand my friendships and community but the question lingered in my mind, “Am I ready?”  Honestly, I was afraid to open myself up.  I was afraid that I would mess up again and that it would just lead to more feelings of rejection and shame.  It was a risk and it was one I knew needed to happen.  I began attending a second Bible Study, at the advice of a mentor.  

As I entered, that first Wednesday morning, I was looking around in hopes of finding a table with people close to my age.  I had a natural tendency to end up with ladies older than me, so I was trying to do the opposite.  I didn’t get a chance to choose before my mentor told me where she thought I should go.  I hesitated, I knew several of the ladies at the table, but there were a slew of the enemies lies swirling around in my head.  Was this this best choice?  I went with it.

I’m so thankful I did.  Those ladies, along with a couple of other church friends, would help me find belonging again.  They came alongside of me showing me that God loved me in the mess.  They covered me in prayer as I followed God’s lead out of the mess.  They encouraged me as I stepped out to find a part time job.  They became part of my crew.

Eventually, the majority of the relationships I thought I lost, were restored.  It took time, prayer, seeking God in each needed step forward, mutual respect, and some hard conversations to work through concerns, but God restored.  Those friendships have been transformed and given new life, in Christ.

A few weeks ago, I sat in a room full of people celebrating my birthday with such joy and laughter.  It encapsulated the joy of true Christian community.  Community that was grounded and centered in Christ.  Community that weathered the storms and came out remarkably stronger, with a fierce love for one another.  As I looked around that room, I was in awe of Him.  To see seasoned friendships, new friendships, and reconciled friendships all in one room, it was a priceless and precious gift. 

 Only He could orchestrate and weave a story of redemption and reconciliation like He has.  That room of people who came to celebrate with me, are a testament to His love and grace.  Those are my 3am friends, you know, the ones you call if you need to bury a body, or more likely if you go to the ER, have surgery, need prayer, or need a ride to the airport for an obscenely early flight.   I feel blessed to have friends that truly sharpen me, and I pray I sharpen them as well.  

Are there relationships in your life that need forgiveness and reconciliation?  How is the Lord asking you to step out to begin to heal a relationship?  Is He asking you to step out to expand your community?  If you have a crew of 3am friends, reach out to them and send them some love and encouragement today.  I pray that you find friendships that sharpen you, and you them.  May we land on His grace.