Those of you who know me know this isn’t my first attempt at a blog or sharing my story. I started “Faith and Fear Collide” in college during a difficult season of health issues.  I am coming out of another very difficult season and once again feel led to share my experiences to help others find hope in Jesus when they find themselves in the dark places of life.  Through the process of thinking about starting this blog, “Faith and Fear Collide” no longer felt like a good fit.  It felt like that focus was on the struggle, and I’m learning now it’s more about surrender.

Exactly one year ago, I was in the midst of several circumstances that seemed like my world was falling apart.  I was experiencing major health issues that resulted in having to step away from my dream career.  I spiraled into deep depression, resulting in several suicide attempts.  It was dark, and I lost some friendships along the way.   I didn’t see how I could ever get through.  Truth is, I couldn’t get through it alone. My friends could do nothing to help me. God could.  When everything and everyone cleared the stage of my life, God met me exactly where I was.  I had to go there alone and wrestle with God.  It was when I finally surrendered, that I landed on His Grace.  I have come to realize; I always thought the circumstances and challenges in my life were something I had to overcome.  I was fighting to be a good therapist, overcome health issues and relationship problems.  The more I fought and struggled to hold it all together, the worse the situation became.  I am learning that none of it is for me to overcome alone, but I am to posture myself with surrender and unshakable hope in the Lord.  Exodus 14:14 says, “The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still.”  We aren’t meant to carry our struggles on our own.  We are meant to abide and stay connected to Him, and when we make Him our focus, all things will fall into place.  

I’m finding the more I surrender the health issues, broken relationships, and dreams, the more I find Him.  The more I find Him, the more I find His grace in all areas in which I struggle.  Matthew 10:39 says, “Whoever finds his life will lose it and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”  Life doesn’t come from overcoming our struggles in our own strength, it comes from surrendering to Christ.  He is the only one who can overcome all of the suffering and problems we face.

So, as I was contemplating what to call this new blog, I stumbled upon a blog I wrote many years ago that I had long forgotten about called “Landing on Grace.”  As I read those early posts, it seemed fitting to return to that title.  The name of this Blog came from a song by Rich Mullins, “If I Stand.”  It says, “If I stand let me stand on the promise that You will pull me through, and if I fall let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You.”  It’s my hope that this blog will be an encouragement that no matter how hard or far we fall, we have a Savior who wants to meet us in that place with His grace.  May we land on His grace.